Oh well if we are going to go down this road
*
I am sure that we all once in a while have come across the following when visiting
the water closet :
Its all a matter of sensations really* :P* :P
And now we shall take a moment to appreciate the joys of the juvenille art of toilet humour...
The good poo guide!
1. The Ghost Poo;
The kind of poo where you feel it come out and you know you've done it, but when you wipe there is nothing there and no poo in the toilet...Where did it go?
2. The Clean Poo;
The sort of poo which is so smooth and streamlined that it virtually falls out of your bottom. You can see the poo in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper!
3. The Hot Tar Poo;
The kind of poo where even after 50 million wipes you are still getting stains on the paper forcing you to place bog roll between your bum cheeks and in your underwear to prevent skid marks!
4. The Second Thought Poo;
Just as you think you've finished with your poo and have painstakingly wiped yourself clean and pulled up your baggies to the knee, you realise that there is still more poo to come out!
5. The Lincoln Log Poo;
The kind of poo that is so huge you're afraid that it won't flush down the toilet unless you personally break it up into small pieces with a stick! This poo only happens when you're at someone elses house!
6. The Sweetcorn Poo;
This should be self explanatory!
7. The "I Wish I Could Poo" Poo;
You feel as if you really need to poo, but every time you try, all you manage is a couple of loud and embarressing farts! This poo almost always happens when theres a queue of people within hearing distance waiting to use the toilet after you!
8. The Side Birth or The Boo-Hoo Poo;
This poo hurts so much that you'd swear its coming out sideways- your eyes water and you will probably need stitches!
9.The Fisherman's Bobber or Floating Poo;
You do your poo and flush two or more times, but there are still several golf-ball sized pieces floating noticably above the water line...
10. The Sultana Poo;
This type of poo is really frustrating! You get yourself prepaired for the agony of a "side birth" and then spend about half an hour sweating it out in the bog, but all you can manage in the end is a small plop resembling a sultana!
11. The Exploding Poo;
You can just picture it now, the fire sensation in your stomach and the second your botty hits the bog poo explodes into the toilet with rip-roaring sound effects, making a right mess, This is probably one of the smelliest of the lot and takes a lot of toilet brush cleaning afterwards! There are always a few little bits stuck around the toilet bowl after you have flushed many times, and, like the "Lilcoln
Log Poo" is guarenteed to happen at someone elses house!
Now we all fit into one of the catagories above I am sure .....
Please feel free to censor if you feel that it is a little stong for a family board
*lmao*
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