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There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults
directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and
began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car
and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have
one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really
liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her
and asked, "if I can guess your real hair colour, will you give me my
sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde!
Now give me back my dog."
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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of
the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move
to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde
replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in
first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to
leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a
good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The
head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because
they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off;
the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets
the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She
immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head
stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move
to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of
the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
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Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the
door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to
rain, and the top is down!
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A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly
true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails.
Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin,
swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks
what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking
my answers."
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