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For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well, thanks to some genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a cousin and a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep you previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt who were inseparable throughout childhood, subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the paper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. Thee Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt the prodigal son left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt" you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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