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SIGNS OF NET ADDICTION:
1.If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com".
2.If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page".
3.If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop".
4.If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson".
5.If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
6.If your baseball cap reads "AMD" instead of "CAT".
7.If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
8.If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go", and you still don't miss her.
9.If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.
10.If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy".
11.If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
12.If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy, y'all".
13.You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.
14.Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
15.Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
16.You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
17.You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
18.You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
19.All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net:
56k...ISDN...cable modem....T1...T3.
20.And even your dreams @ night are in HTML.
21.You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
22.Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site
address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
23.You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have
a clue when it happened.
24.You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
25.Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
26.All of your friends have an @ in their names.
27.When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already
highlighted in purple.
28.Your dog or cat has its own home page.
29.You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
30.You realize there is not a sound in the house, and you have no idea where your children
are.
31.You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
32.You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net, and even his friends
know not to call on his line anymore.
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