three guys in a bar

[sd]

A Scotsman, an Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having
a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.

Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I
come from, back in Glasgee, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye
buy a drink, ye buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy yir
third drink!"

The others agree that sounds like a good place.

Then the Italian says, "Yeah, dat's a nice-a bar, but where I
come from, dere's a better one. In Roma, dere's dis place,
Vincenzo's. At Vincenzo's, you buy a drinka, Vincenzo buys you a
drinka. You buy anudda drinka, Vincenzo buys you anudda drinka."

Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.

Then the Irishman says, "You tink dat's great? Where Oi come
from in Dublin, dere's dis place called Morphy's. At Morphy's, they
boi you your first drink, dey boi you yer second drink, den dey boi
you yer tird drink, and den, after all dat, dey take you out de back
and get you laid!"

"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that
actually happen to you?"

"No," says the Irish guy, "but it happened to me
sister"