Most people serving feel that 61 seconds is good for connection attempts. Generally try for 10-15 minutes, and if no success u can always try again later.
As for software, serv-u and bulletproof server software are both easy to set up.
If I remember correctly, that software comes with detailed instructions that go step by step to show you how to set up your server. And once u have done that, you can test the server by attempting to connect using a FTP client ie cuteftp or leech or whatever u prefer.
Serv-u can be downloaded directly from BearCat, or PM myself for Bulletproof if anyone wants to try it.
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