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A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a
few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new
club, fancy tagging along?"
The Jelly Baby says, "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up
getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long
as you'll look after me", and off they go.
After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as
he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little
jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a
laugh. After a while, they get bored and walk out.
Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and
wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look after me."
"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f..king menthol
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