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POLITICAL/PHILOSOPHICAL
FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of the cows and you all share the milk.
APPLIED COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATOR
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
MILITARISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate". The cow sues you for breach of contact.
BRITISH DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You feed them sheep's' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one and milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
You have the cow, your neighbour has the bull. You sell the milk, calves and manure. You bullshit investors.
TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
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Linear Mode
