lol
153. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see
where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.
154. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw
a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,
she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she
had cleaned 43 restrooms.
155. How about the suicide blonde,
she dyed by her own hand.
156. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette
says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops,
looks up, and says, "Where?"
157. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the
wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the
people were leaving.
158. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
exclaims:
"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
159. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we
could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to faq me properly we could do
without the gardener.
160. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
161. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of
them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing
a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
we all fell and hurt ourselves.
162. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...
163. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead,
and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and
estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to
try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really
tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired
to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it.
I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and
starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more
endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even
got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think
I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,
15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight,
but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
164. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when
the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull
you finger out, I'll sink?"
165. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks
and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.
Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one
half hour later they were both killed by a train.
166. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what
was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.
Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about
the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can faq and
suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook"
167. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
to rain and the top is down!
168. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
169. Q: Why was the blonde depressed when she received her driver's license?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
170. Q: What do you call a brunette and four blondes standing on a street
corner?
A: Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks!
171. Did you hear about the blonde who:
had more on her body than on her mind?
was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?
took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?
had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?
thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller
girls?
went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
172. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
173. There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natel
checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the
baby concieved ?"
"He was on top ", she replyed.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.
"Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....
174. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on
a
street corner?
A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
175. Q: What's the difference between a blond and a shopping cart.
A: A shopping cart has a mind of it's own.
176. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.
177. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:
"Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
178. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she
did with her pencil.
179. Blondes...
They take a lickin', and keep on...
Lickin!
180. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up
to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the
bird drops a load when it was directly over her.
The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth
open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
181. Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death
in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
182. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
183. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.
It's off.
184. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of
York ?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men !
185. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
186. Q: Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders?
A: Because the can't even keep two calves together!
187. Q: Why do blondes tattoo their zipcode under their belly button?
A: So they can get the male into the right box.
188. Q: What do blondes and cow chips have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
189. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
190. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold!
191. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
192. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag
193. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?
194. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she had given her last blowjob.
195. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.
196. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
197. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it
won't follow you around for a week.
198. Q: What is the difference between a blondes legs and cold butter?
A: Cold butter is difficult to spread.
199. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles"
referred to her ears?
200. Q: What do a blonde and Presdient Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.
201. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.
202. Q: Why did they call the blond "Twinkie"?
A: She was always being filled with cream.
atb
jake
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