Hello HotRod
For quite some time I had a similar problem. It was manifested as no or close to no ability to download if my upload bandwidth was used to it's full content. (I have 25 kB up and 125 kB down.) I had to brake my uploads down to the area around 14-17 kB to make the system work as expected. My setup is similar to yours (same OS, same server, another router). After having struggled with my setup in different ways I was convinced that the problem wasn't at my side so I called my ISP and explained/complained. They actually (well, after my third call) sent out a technician who made some measurements and after that they changed a switch in the system and... yes, now it works.
After all we pay (full price) for the (small) bandwidth and should expect nothing but a working connection.
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unicorn
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