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The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place
her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's 50 pounds, go and buy yourself some underwear." Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Bejesus woman. She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's 20 pounds, go and buy yourself some underwear!" Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Hoot, lassie! Why d'ye have no knickers?" She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any." The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's a comb. Tidy yourself up a bit!"
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 47th birthday. She spends
£15,000 on herself at a health farm and feels pretty good about
the results. On her way home she stops at a news-stand to buy a paper. Before leaving she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," the clerk replies.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47!" Now she is feeling really good about herself. While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your knickers. Then, I can tell exactly how old you are." They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead". The old man slips both hands down her knickers and begins to feel around. After several minutes she says, "Okay, how old am I?" He removes his hands slowly and says, "You are 47." Stunned, the woman says, "That is amazing. How do you know?" The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."
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Last edited by M31 at Aug 7 2002, 11:29 AM
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