Some Thoughts: :D

>1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

>2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

>3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a
garage makes you a mechanic.

>4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

>5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.

>6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

>7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

>8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

>9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

>10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

>11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

>12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

>13. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

>14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

>15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

>16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

>17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

>18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

>19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.

>20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

>21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

>22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

>23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

>24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

>25. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. :angry: