Zen

> > > > > The Road to Enlightenment - The Teachings of Zen
> > > > >
> > > > > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
> > > > > of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
> > > > > is narrow. In fact, just faq off and leave me alone.
> > > > >
> > > > > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
> > > > > belt and a flat tire.
> > > > >
> > > > > 3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
> > > > > to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.
> > > > >
> > > > > 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
> > > > > getting any.
> > > > >
> > > > > 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
> > > > > be promoted.
> > > > >
> > > > > 6. No one is listening until you fart.
> > > > >
> > > > > 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> > > > >
> > > > > 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> > > > >
> > > > > 9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
> > > > > missing a couple of mortgage payments.
> > > > >
> > > > > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
> > > > > their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
> > > > > away and you have their shoes.
> > > > >
> > > > > 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> > > > >
> > > > > 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
> > > > > to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> > > > >
> > > > > 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
> > > > > it was probably worth it.
> > > > >
> > > > > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
> > > > > anything.
> > > > >
> > > > > 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
> > > > > windshield.
> > > > >
> > > > > 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> > > > >
> > > > > 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
> > > > > comes from bad judgment.
> > > > >
> > > > > 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
> > > > > and put it back in your pocket.
> > > > >
> > > > > 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> > > > >
> > > > > 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
> > > > > dark side, and it holds the universe together.
> > > > >
> > > > > 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
> > > > > works.
> > > > >
> > > > > 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
> > > > > are moving.
> > > > >
> > > > > 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
> > > > > need it.

LMAO :lol1: