For years and years they told me,
> > Be careful of your breasts.
> >
> > Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
> >
> > And give them monthly tests.
> >
> >
> >
> > So I heeded all their warnings,
> >
> > And protected them by law.
> >
> > Guarded them very carefully,
> >
> > And I always wore my bra.
> >
> >
> >
> > After 30 years of astute care,
> >
> > My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
> >
> > Said I should get a Mammogram.
> >
> > "O.K," I said, "let's do it."
> >
> >
> >
> > "Stand up here real close" she said,
> >
> > (She got my boob in line),
> >
> > "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
> >
> > "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
> >
> >
> >
> > She stepped upon a pedal,
> >
> > I could not believe my eyes!
> >
> > plastic plate came slamming down,
> >
> > My hooter's in a vise!
> >
> >
> >
> > My skin was stretched and mangled,
> >
> > From underneath my chin.
> >
> > My poor boob was being squashed,
> >
> > To Swedish Pancake thin.
> >
> >
> >
> > Excruciating pain I felt,
> >
> > Within it's vise-like grip.
> >
> > A prisoner in this vicious thing,
> >
> > My poor defenseless tit!
> >
> >
> >
> > "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
> >
> > Who does she think she's kidding?!?
> >
> > My chest is mashed in her machine,
> >
> > And woozy I am getting.
> >
> >
> >
> > "There, that's good," I heard her say,
> >
> > (The room was slowly swaying.)
> >
> > "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
> >
> > Have mercy, I was praying.
> >
> >
> >
> > It squeezed me from both up and down,
> >
> > It squeezed me from both sides.
> >
> > I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
> >
> > To HER tender little hide.
> >
> >
> >
> > Next time that they make me do this,
> >
> > I will request a blindfold.
> >
> > I have no wish to see again,
> >
> > My knockers getting steamrolled.
> >
> >
> >
> > If I had no problem when I came in,
> >
> > I surely have one now.
> >
> > If there had been a cyst in there,
> >
> > It would have gone "ker-pow!"
> >
> >
> >
> > This machine was created by a man,
> >
> > Of this, I have no doubt.
> >
> > I'd like to stick his balls in there,
> >
> > And see how THEY come out.