A New Chapter
 

My wife of 44 years moves into a long term care facility tomorrow. She can no longer speak, nor do anything for herself, so there isn't an alternative, but what an experience. Some of you will remember my aborted move to Europe in February to be closer to my Italian daughter and family. We've been living in a very nice area where I could take Josie for walks in a wild ravine, right here in downtown Toronto, and enjoy what this wonderful town has to offer. Notwithstanding, she'll be only 15 mintutes away by subway and life goes on. Thankfully I've got friends and a nice hobby. She has what is known as fronto temperal dementia, which has been coming on for a number of years, but really moved fast the past 2 years. She remains a sweet girl with a ready smile and loves to do bear hugs with our friends. My avatar is a drawing she made early in the year. A koala bear.

My thoughts are with you and your lovely wife, rikytik.

All the best m8.

/JD

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife, rikytik.

I empathise...my mom is going on 89 and needs help with everything

Very sorry to hear this my friend. If there is anything we can ever do for you here, even if it's just a sympathetic ear, just speak. You have friends here. :)

yeah man, my best friends mom has the same thing, and I know how tough it is on the family..Good to see you have the right attitude about it!
Best of luck to you and your family!

Got Josiane moved in today. Here she is hugging her teddy bears just before I left her today. Sweet gal and seemed to fit in well. Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Means a lot.

The little bear I gave her for Christmas the first year of our marriage, 1962 and has never left her presence. His name is Tami. The white polar bear was a gift from her italian grandkids who spent August here and thought she needed an animal of a proper size to hug.

You and your wife are both in my prayers. Keep up the positive outlook. :)

Cheerz
Voodoo

You are both in my prayers also!
I know what you are going through, my mom has it too!

Take care
UN

Thanks all. Appreciate your thoughts. Means a lot. Josiane seems comfortable in her new surroundings.

And me? My sister tells me to give it a month and then take a road trip. I just bought a 175 watt inverter so I can run my laptop in the car and use GPS maps and stuff. Soon as the snow melts I'm going to do a big time Road Trip in my Corolla. Plan to visit my cousins who are all over the USA, and my grammar school and high school friends out west. So many nice things in the world to enjoy...while we can. Here are Jo and me in Koln, Germany, after I proposed marriage and she accepted. Ah, youth!!!!!

My prayers are with you and your loving family, rikytik.

Best,
McoreD

Reporting in: The transition to the long term care facility has been easy and Josiane seems OK there. It's a nice place, really nice staff and a great ambiance. I'm keeping so busy I haven't had time to come up for air. Thanks for your thoughs, gang.

My thoughts are with you and it sounds like she is in great hands. Please keep us informed of her well being.

Keep well and keep checking in when you can. Take care and my thouoghts are with you both.

I'm so sorry I've missed this thread until now.

My wife is a CNA now working 3rd shift one night a week to retain her CNA cert while taking more classes as time permits. She comes home and tells me sweet stories about the residents she meets much like your wife. :wub:

I've heard my wife talk many times about them having dementia.

Many thanks for the pictures, what a GREAT couple you both make and those bears :cool:

Life is so short, make the best of it in a worth while way! :)

Take care, GOD bless your wife & you.... your story helps show others marriage and LOVE is worth the hard work. Many GREAT memories!

Your very blessed rikytik.

Thank you rikytik. Thank you for your display of love, perseverance, tolerance; its something that we can all learn from. Alike my journey in finding my neiche in this world *sigh*, reminding my self that my parents, brothers and sisters all are rooting.

Its totally true, life is so short and you my friend have given me a priceless gift the reminder that love is what is real, the rest you have to work towards (but comes and goes).

Nice to hear from you King Cobra.

Today I arrived and there was a big sign outside the door made up on a scotch tapped paper saying "Exit Seeker" please use alternate entry. It was my wife, hanging around the main secure entrance door trying to slip out when someone came in or went out. Think about it! Took her for a long walk and upon return discovered the main busy body resident eating Jo's mid afternoon snack, left for her. Then noticed Jo's Case Logic collection of DVD movies was gone. You gotta have a good measure of humor in a unit like this. I found, in return a blouse and bra from the resident across the way, which I returned. Never a dull moment.

Here's a picture of Jo the way I remember her. Here she is literally jumpring for Joy the day we arrived in Bhutan (1992) and were climbing up the Himalyas to a Bhuddist temple you may not see in the background.

My sisters husband's sister.. works as a nurses aid or something similar, and she tells me stories about residents getting into mischief, even during a nightshift! wow.

Sounds like a happening place.

@Cyberion. I am touched by your thoughts. Wish you all the best.

I went over today and the DVDs are back but her glasses are disappeared. There was a new stuffed animal left by someone, or maybe Jo picked it up. When I walked in she was hugging her two bears and staring at the wall. I took her for a walk. Not an easy task, but I must say the staff are nice.

Just wanted to say that I'll have you and your family in my prayers. Your story and pictures really touched me, we all need to be more thankfull for the many blessings that we have. She can also be thankfull for having such a caring husband. Take care.

My thoughts are with you......seems that you love her very much....must've been a difficult decision after living all these years together.
It's great that she's feeling comfortable there.....

Thanks for the update. :inlove:

sometimes people in Josiane's condition can retrieve all kinds of things from the past depending on the stimuli - hope you come across even more

First off, let me send all the best wishes to you and Josiane for this new year.
I have been reading this thread, and I must say you have a big heart and a strong back,
carrying all of these things.
Its good to see that you are carrying much love and good memories, to help you overcome the hard days.
I have seen these things before, and it's not easy...
Enjoy the good time you spend with here, and when things get to hard, spend time with family and good friends.

Take care of yourself, and and give Josiane a hug from me and my wife.

I really appreciate all the kind thoughts expressed in this thread. I especially appreciate your thoughts, BearCat. You are one of the great contributors to BetaONE, going back to summer 1991 when a lot of use discovered this place to enjoy a lot of common experiences with the then new O/S, Win XP. <big grin>

I had a nice life with my seetheart and so many good memories.

One of Josiane's favorite things is hugs--big BEAR hugs. Done deal, Bearcat. :)

.....thanks for caring guys. btw, BearCat. You still don't have an avatar posted. here's the famous one from before you married your lovely sweetheart who is obviously a postive influence. :)

rikytik - I do not want to not post/say anything for fear that you might think your posts are going overlooked or unwanted which is NOT the case. The problem is I really don't know what to say, but I know what I'll do!

I will keep Josie and you in my prayers.

KC, there really isn't anything to say. I'm not looking for consolation. Sorry if it seems that way. I'm expressing a few thoughts and emotions which is good for the soul. I've been on a discovery trip for some years. As early as 2000, when we retired back to Toronto, she was pretty much unable to enjoy old friends or do go out on her own. By 2002 I had to write her Christmas letters, etc. She had accumulated a list of some 70 "friends" she was ever faithfull to. Mid 2003 she could no longer function normally. Her form of dementia is different than Alzheimer, the more common form. My Mom died of Alzheimer, but she could still carry on a conversation right up until she died, even if she hadn't a clue who she was talking to. :)

Thanks for caring.

I've been on my own discovery trip, mostly my journey to find self-worth and to find out where I fit in.. what I can do. :) I too find it helpful just to write some things down, it helps to get the word out for those who will read it, I know your allowing me and others to view through the window(s) you have set aside; thank you. These windows are all too similar I feel to what the brain goes through from what you are describing in your beautiful prose. Thank you for sharing. :hug: